July 18, 2011

The question I dread the most from business people is “Can I pick your brain?” While I believe in helping others and paying it forward, I am not even sure how this expression got started since it is so visually unappealing. Why would I want someone to literally look inside my brain and take whatever they want? Sounds like the first ever “business horror” flick!

While I understand that not every interaction needs to have financial return, there should be rules that are followed if someone needs "friendly" advice so there is still time to get your work done.

Here are six questions to ask if someone wants assistance without you losing track of your own time and goals:

1.  Paid or peer advice?

Say: "Do you need help as a possible paying customer or just some friendly advice?" This sets expectations on both sides. In each case, you can determine if this a future paying customer or if they just need some casual advice.

2. Be specific

Say: "How can I actually help you?" This focuses the questions so the "brain picker" does not ramble on without finding the help they specifically need. In fact, you have more of a chance to actually help this person in a short period of time if you focus on just one area.

3. Use the phone

 Say: “Sorry, I can’t do lunch. Can we talk briefly by phone?” I can't meet everyone in terms of time—and probably weight gain. It takes at least two hours to have lunch between getting to the appointment and having the meal. I know that things can be more productive in person, but in this case, just say no.

4. Make it convenient for you

Say: “This is when I can talk to you.” Take these calls strategically and conveniently. I typically do them while I am driving or waiting for a flight at the airport. These are times where I am not looking to accomplish heavy work, but can still focus my energies on helping the person with what they need.

5. Set a time limit and stick to it

Say: “I have 10 minutes.” I tell people that I have a limited amount of time and announce it at the beginning of the call. This will also focus their questions. If you haven't been able to help the person in 10 minutes, then they need to seek a free resource that is available or pay you for your time.

6. Set limits

Say: “If you have further questions, please e-mail me.”  Limit another phone call. Tell them they can follow up by e-mail, but if more than a few e-mails are sent, see advice in No. 5. While there may be some people you want to invest in on an ongoing basis, these are the guidelines you need to follow for everyone else.

Do you let people pick your brain? Do you have rules that you stand by too?

Related Topics

• Managing

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Barry Moltz, Article, business commitments, communication, time management, managing

Join the conversation ( 12 )

• Tommy Strader 9 months ago

  

  Wow great article. We started a booking service for people who want to pick you brain . When people want to pick your brain for more than 10 minutes and you want to get paid for it our system will help you do just that. Check out www.commutingconsultants.com

  • barrymoltz 9 months ago

    

    Thanks Tommy!

• Jack Vinson 10 months ago

  

  Thanks for this. I've re-blogged and then added some more thoughts around how to use your thoughts to help (internal) experts protect their time.http://blog.jackvinson.com/archives/2011/07/20/brains_people_want_pieces_of_experts_brains.html

  • barrymoltz 10 months ago

    

    I will check it out Jack!

• Yvonne Woytovich 10 months ago

  

  I get this question a lot. So much so that I started a once-a-month "open house" session. I have a B2B service, so it made sense to set aside a specific time slot to open my door to people who want advice or to learn. It works out great for me because I knock out a group of people at one time, and they are able to learn from each other and gain new relationships. It has also generated positive buzz about my business that has brought in new clients. I am able to have control of my time (my rules) by doing this.Occasionally, people require that one-on-one session or just my help, and I have the thought, "I should be getting paid for this." This advice will definitely help in those situations.Thanks Barry! Always love hearing what you have to say! :)

  • barrymoltz 10 months ago

    

    I love this idea Yvonne!

• Jeri Quinn 10 months ago

  

  Barry,I like your post. Very important stuff.Another thing to keep in mind is the emotional intelligence issue. People buy because of how you make them feel and how connected they feel to you. When weighing if this person is wasting your time or distracting you from your goals, it's good to pause and think how a raving connection to/from this person might be communicated to the people you want to do business with. That might help to determine where you draw the line when the area is grey.Another thing to think about is your purpose. If you have a purpose to your life and giving someone the information they need aligns with your purpose, then you may draw the line differently than if their issue is not aligned at all. Thanks for this post. We all need boundaries and ideas about how to make those boundaries comfortable.Jeri Quinnwww.DrivingImprovedResults.com

  • barrymoltz 10 months ago

    

    Thanks Jeri

• Tim Porthouse 10 months ago

  

  Great advice Barry - I especially like the "Phone vs. Lunch" idea, and will use that.One small thing to add to your points: Learn something from every encounter - pick their brain too!Everyone has an area of specialization, and you can often learn something fascinating when you least expect it. I recommend spending some of the time asking the other person questions: find out their opinion on trends, their thoughts on companies they've encountered or the people in their network.Just last week I had coffee with someone wanting to "pick my brain" and came away with a fascinating insight on how "agile" IT methodologies impact culture.Thanks for the great post BarryTim

  • barrymoltz 10 months ago

    

    Thanks Tim- there is something to learn from everyone you meet!

• Julie Rains 10 months ago

  

  I try to delineate between those who want free but professional advice and those who really want to learn by picking my brain. In general, I opt out of making very specific recommendations (which is hard to do correctly without loads of information and lots of time) in favor of steering people in the right direction. Very often, they need to know what their options are in general and what questions they need to ask, which I am happy to share. On some occasions, though, questions are more specific and your techniques come in handy.The brain pickers who I enjoy are those who share advice and perspectives on a casual, friendly basis.

  • barrymoltz 10 months ago

    

    Julie- great advice thanks!