If you want to reach the world, make a name for yourself and win with the people who matter most, you have to get a little touchy feely.

Now I know what you’re thinking...touchy feely? How is that relevant to small businesses. Well, let me tell you.

People want to feel like they've been touched (read: your customers). Now I’m not suggesting you start hugging everyone you meet. Nor am I suggesting you formulate a touchpoint strategy for managing the customer experience that aligns with the brand promise. Being touchy feely is much bigger—and better—than that.

It’s about leaving people feeling seen and heard. Here's how to do it:

1. Give people the experience of psychological visibility

 If you want to assure that you leave people feeling seen, try these ideas. First, instead of going out of your way to make people feel invisible, make a conscious effort to love, honor and acknowledge them. Second, while engaging with people, resist the urge to check your e-mail. Stop looking over their shoulder to see if there’s somebody more important to talk to you. Just be with the people you’re with, right now. Third, when someone comes to you with their problems, understand that they’re not looking for advice—they’re looking for understanding. Don’t dispense answers when they’re looking for affirmation. Remember: nothing touches people more than your willingness to be a mirror. When was the last time you slowed down and noticed people?

2. Be open to all levels of intimacy

I recently read an article in Harvard Business Review that called customer intimacy a “key value discipline.” Their research proved that organizations that align their entire operating model to serve that discipline are the ones who become market leaders. Are you pushing yourself relentlessly to sustain it? If not, you’ll never touch your people in the way they need to be touched. After all, each of your relationships—from customers you’ve known since day one to prospects you’ve known since this morning—is an ongoing laboratory of learning how to love. And it’s more than memorizing a few pieces of personal information. Intimacy is about sharing vulnerability, showing feelings and showering acceptance. It’s about weathering storms together and experiencing meaningful connections. What would be different if that described the relationships you had with your customers?

3. Slow down

If you want others to have a warmer, richer experience when they’re around you, learn to pump the brakes. A helpful question to ask throughout your day is, “Why am I rushing?” Odds are, you won’t come up with a good answer. You might not slow down right away, but this friendly mental disruption will create a newfound awareness. Remember: When people come into contact with you, it should be emotionally rewarding—not physically draining. Haste doesn’t make waste, it makes people feel ignored. What elements of your daily routine could be slower?

4. Bring people center stage

I love hearing the word no. Not because it’s an opening to sell, but because it’s an opportunity to hear somebody’s story. Sometimes that’s all people want—an audience. The secret is: If you truly want to touch someone, it’s not enough to request their story. You also have to receive it, respect it and retell it. Otherwise they may as well be winking in the dark. That’s what I love about blogging: It provides a public forum where I can bring other people’s story center stage. How often do you hand over the microphone?

5. Hold up your homework

When my friends Laszlo and Kelly got married, they wrote their own vows. Their words were beautiful, romantic and heartfelt. Not a dry eye in the house. But the collective heart of the entire room stopped beating when Laszlo made the following announcement right after they kissed: “Ladies and gentleman, we’re going to take a 10 minute break before the reception starts because, frankly, those vows took everything we had.” And rightly so. Doing something that touching isn’t easy. But the lesson learned is: When something takes everything you have, tell people. Not to boast about how strong you are. But to offer validation that they are people worth caring about, showing up for and giving yourself away to. When was the last time you went out of your way to tell someone that you went out of your way?

Remember: Every day our world becomes less humane in our treatment of each other. I know touchy feely isn’t easy. I know it isn’t for everybody. But try it out—who knows what you, and your customers, may discover.