August 29, 2011

When I was in publishing, I worked on a project with my friend, Eddie, who runs a production company in L.A. (Eddie is well-respected and well-connected with Hollywood people in the music and movie industries.) As part of the multimedia program we were building for schools, Eddie enlisted some high-profile household names to donate their time and skills. The high-profile professionals were a pleasure to work with. They focused on meeting our needs to deliver a great product to the kids would use it.

Another group of actors fueled an ongoing conversation for Eddie and me. They were a handful of actors who viewed the universe as revolving around them. Every word they said, every question they asked, every idea they had was about them. Eddie and I turned our caricature of them into comedy telephone routine that went like this...

Me: Hello, Eddie, how am I?

Eddie: You're fine. How am I?

Me: You're wonderful as always.

Eddie: Enough about me, let's talk about you. How do YOU like my new sweater?

Me: I love your sweater as I love my own.

Eddie: You know I have these friends...when I call them up all they want to do is talk about themselves. Can you believe people would treat me like that?

Are you asking about customers or about yourself?

Eddie and I would have our fun with the idea that no matter how we approached a conversation, that certain cadre of actors could bring the spotlight back on them. It happened so often that it was more interesting to predict their responses than to actually listen to what they said.

My guess is that those actors were unaware that they had such a self-absorbed view of the world. Is your marketing in the same unaware, self-centered place? Think about it. Do all of the questions you ask customers sound like these?

• What do you think of our new product?
• How was your experience with our website?
• Did you enjoy your last visit with us?
• How would you describe our service?
• Will you be recommending us to your friends?

If your purpose is to gather information on what customers think about you and their experience with you, every one of those questions passes the test. They're all valid questions in the same way that "What do you think about my sweater?" is a valid question which asking someone's fashion advice.

If your purpose is to get to know your customers, the questions above don't deliver. Ask questions about customers, not what they think of you.

• What are your goals for the next two quarters?
• What do you wish your business/life had more of...less of?
• What is the best surprise you experienced in any business transaction?
• What do most companies undervalue about you as their customer?
• What do you value most in the companies you keep?

When we move ourselves out of the center of the conversation, the possibility for relationship comes back into balance. The chance to connect goes wider and deeper. Every answer provides an opportunity to ask another question and understand the why that moves that customer's decisions. It's exponentially easier to provide products and services when we're serving people we understand.

Eddie and I didn't enjoy working with the unaware, self-absorbed actors who never said a word, asked a question, or had an idea that wasn't about them.

Enough about what I think, how did YOU like this blog post?

Seriously, when does it become important that a business gets to know its customers better than "what do you think of us"?

Related Topics

• Lifestyle
• Marketing

Related keywords

Liz Strauss, Article, communication, customer relations, marketing strategies

Join the conversation ( 4 )

• Tuija Seipell 8 months ago

  

  Even one of those "about customers" questions will give more insight into the customer than all the others combined!

• BRUCE SILVERMAN 8 months ago

  

  Absolutely terrific article! In medicine, there was recent study showing that MD's talk to their patients more about themselves to no real pertinent end than focusing on the patient and the patient's life. I try to find a happy medium with my animal owners because I feel that my selective testimonials about my own pets' care should serve as an example. Yet, I still feel like I've talked too much about my own experience, despite the message I intend. I'm always impressed by people, whether in a professional context or otherwise, who focus on anyone other than themselves during a conversation. I believe there's an old adage about only learning by listening, since anything out of your mouth you already know.

• Sue Watkins 8 months ago

  

  I think this is a key point that also hugely impacts marketing messaging. You should not build a marketing message on being the best, most flexible, most powerful solution or company. Your message needs to be built around key problems your target customer is experiencing, and how your solve them better than others (other companies and other solutions). Sue Watkinswww.SMBmarketer.com

• Alysha Dominico 8 months ago

  

  Fully agree -- love the naming of the "how am I?" syndrome. This is how I feel about people who ask "would you 'like' me on Facebook?" And there so many people who unwittingly (self-centredly) send out that exact automated DM on Twitter.To all those people, here's what your audience is thinking: "a) 'WHAT IS THE POINT?' b) 'Why should I?/What's in it for me?' c) 'But we just connected on Twitter--isn't that enough?' "The most successful marketing is the kind that focusses on giving your audience what they want. That way, your audience will thank you for the information (instead of want to 'block you') and your audience appreciate you looking out for them, rather than yourself. Like you did with this post, Liz. And thanks, by the way.Customer-driven content is the first step in building 'raving fans'--and how good is that for business?!- Alysha Dominico from Tangible Words Ltd.