March 17, 2011
OPEN Forum Message
Affordably Build Your Brand
FedEx Global Brand Management Director Monica Skipper shares a cost-effective way to build a bigger brand for your small business.
Learn more
This is the decade of not relying on your gut instinct. Think about it. Everywhere you turn, some so-called ‘expert’ is doling out instructions on what to eat! What to wear! How to raise your kids! How to make millions! The idea is that THEY know the secret to diet/love/family/financial success, and you'll be happier if you only follow them. Not once do they tell you to check in with yourself.
That’s too bad, because we’d be a lot better off if we listened to our inner voices, especially in business. I can’t tell you how many women I know who partnered with someone they had a bad feeling about, or did a deal with someone they suspected would rip them off, only to be proven right. They ignored the gnawing sensation in their gut, and they ended up suffering.
I believe part of the reason women do this is because we’re taught not to trust ourselves. Women are told that others know what’s best for us; our self-esteem usually hovers near the ground. I often think of a female flight instructor I know. Pilots are still about 90 percent male, but this woman is so terrific that she teaches both men and women how to fly. In her classes, the men invariably need to get their skill level up to their confidence level. And the women? They have to get their confidence level up to their skill level.
This is an important anecdote, because if you don’t have confidence and respect for yourself and your judgment, you’re less likely to listen to your heart and gut. And you can miss out on a lot of good opportunities as a result of this.
Now, I’m not saying that coaches aren’t valid in some areas. Financial planners, fitness trainers, business webinars, accounting classes—sometimes we really do need “How-To” instructions by someone in the know. But we need to pay attention to those tiny intangibles, those snap feelings of ‘I don’t like her!” or “I don’t believe a word he’s saying!” More often than not, if something doesn’t FEEL right, there’s a good chance something ISN’T right.
Want more from Nell Merlino? Check these out:
So how do you learn to trust your gut?
1. Read Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink” and Jonah Lehrner’s “The Decisive Moment.” These two books explore how rapid cognition—that is, intuition, or snap judgements—has an impact on us, for better and for worse. They go into elaborate detail about how many decisions are made on the basis of snap judgments—and how your intuition is almost always right.
2. Pay attention to your inner voice. We’ve all had moments where we hesitated because something didn’t feel right, but for whatever reason we ignored it. From now on, any time you have that feeling, step back and listen. Don’t make any decision until you’ve had a conversation with someone who knows you really well, who can help you figure out whether you’re being paranoid, or if you should actually walk away.
3. Don’t assume others are smarter than you. As Elura Nanos and Michele Sileo, founders of Lawyer Up, will tell you, just because someone is a lawyer—or other licensed professional you might hire—doesn’t mean they are smarter than you. They may be know the law, but they don’t know your business. You are the expert in that department! Professional expertise can be valuable in growing your business, but trust what you know as the business owner.
4. Remember: You always have a choice. A few months ago, my four-year-old niece went skiing with her family. She was supposed to ride on the chair lift with the other students, but by the time her turn came everyone had paired up, and she was going to ride with a stranger. She started screaming, and her father took her out of the line. The first thing she said to me was, “I have choices, and I didn’t want to go!” I said, “You certainly do have choices, and you didn’t have to go.” We know this as young as age four. And we forget it.
If you think you have what it takes to make your business a million, join us in Denver April 4 for the M3 1000 conference to take your business to the next level. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter @M3Award and Facebook.
Check your balance, review recent transactions and pay your bill on the go.
Julie Rains 1 year 2 months and 11 days ago
Trusting your gut when you know it's right is essential. Recently, I found myself in the situation when I needed not only to trust my instincts but also convince others that I was right -- having hard evidence in this case, in addition to strongly advocating my position.