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Got stress? Anyone who says they don’t feel fearful sometimes in the face of this uncertain economy is in deep denial. One symptom, research shows, is that it is literally harder to hear when we’re stressed. That’s a signal to savvy, caring business owners to listen deeper and longer. Only then can we discover which problem keeps our customers awake nights. Solving that one is the thoughtful and successful way to sell.

Listen People Into Buying

Who does most of the talking when you are with a prospective buyer? As in fishing, until you find the hook that grabs their attention you’re better off listening longer.

As infants we were rewarded with wide smiles and warm voices when we talked. Later we enjoyed more reinforcement as we learned to read. Yet it is only when we don’t listen that we get feedback. People look annoyed or leave.

Beginning in kindergarten, we’ve been rewarded to sit still and be quiet but we aren’t trained to listen. Yet we are expected to know how.

Thirteen pointers to sharpen your listening-to-sell skill in a scary economy:

• Open your eyes, mind and ears to be truly receptive to the messages the other person presents.

• Begin listening from the very first word and give the person your undivided attention.

• Focus on what the prospect says. Avoid trying to figure out what the person is going to say; you may miss what he or she actually says.

• Do not try to read meanings into what you think the person is saying. Actively help the other person convey his or her meanings accurately to you.

• Don’t interrupt. It sends the message that your views are more important than theirs.

• Ask follow-up questions to confirm, clarify and glean the specific benefits they seek or the problems they want to solve.

• Take notes.

• Be direct in answering questions. First answer, then elaborate. Don’t provide background before answering because you may seem evasive or thoughtless or both.

• Look for connections between apparently isolated remarks.

• Get your whole body involved in listening and show that you are paying attention. Look the person squarely in the eye most of the time, using facial expressions and other non-verbal clues to show that you hear and understand what she is saying.

• Remain warm yet calm. Do not overreact to highly charged words and tones. Hear the person out, then respond. Most people will cool down and begin to talk calmly once they vent their anger and frustrations.

• Control outside interruptions and distractions.

• When the other person gets more intense, she is discussing what most matters to her.  That’s your hook.  Offer the specific benefit - the solution to that point to move her closer to buying.