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The Mindset of a Workaholic Can Dismantle Family Life

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January 11, 2010

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We've all probably grappled on some level with the age-old issue of maintaining a healthy work/life balance -- especially given the relatively recent boom of PDA's which keep people at the mercy of emails and phone calls no matter how far away they are from the office. But for some, the line between a professional and personal life is a deep shade of gray, plagued by ambiguity which casts a dark cloud over their entire existence. Workaholics are mired in a mindset in which being on the job is the only source of fulfillment -- and they suffer alongside neglected family members.

Workaholics Anonymous offers support, guidance and meetings for those who can't turn off their need to work, displaying characteristics of a workaholic such as, "We tend to schedule ourselves for more than we can handle, believing people will like us more if we can do more and do it faster." The Workaholics Anonymous website also offers a list of twenty questions to answer to help gauge whether or not you're a workaholic.

Reading these twenty questions was a real eye-opener for me, personally, as I definitely recognized myself in more than three of them.  I'm guessing that in the world of bloggers and media entrepreneurs I am certainly not alone in my workaholic tendencies. 

According to a recent article on workaholism on Forbes.com, "Marriages involving workaholics are twice as likely to end in divorce... [and] for too many, the pressure of the economic downturn only exacerbates the problem."

In the same article, Bryan Robinson, author of Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them adds, "The workaholic is on the ski slopes dreaming about getting back to work... the hard worker is in the office dreaming about being on the ski slopes." Robinson concludes that mindset, as opposed to hours spent on the job is what matters when it comes to defining a workaholic.

Surviving a Workaholic Spouse on Forbes.com offers 10 tips on how to cope with being married to someone who is also married to their job. From 'Stop Helping' -- by enabling your spouse with the space and time he/she needs to accomplish work tasks while say, seated at the dinner table, to 'Find Mutual Hobbies' and 'Schedule Tech Free Time,' the list offers a great start at establishing boundaries between life on the job and life on the home front -- a healthy brush-up everyone with an occupation in today's modern society could use -- perhaps to turn over a new leaf in 2010.


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  • NURHAILY TUEY 2 years 3 months and 28 days ago

    NURHAILY TUEY

    It's funny, I used to get angry at my husband for his workaholic tendencies, but since I started my own business three years ago, I think I've become the bigger culprit. We've managed to maintain the balance by, as best as possible, keeping our schedules in synch. When we stop working, we STOP working. NO calls, no computers, no pings, no tweets, etc. Boundaries are hard to set and even harder to keep, but we all have to remember that we don't live to work, we work to live. Indeed, THAT is why I started a business, to reclaim some semblance of quality of life.

  • DONNA JOHNSON 2 years 4 months and 13 days ago

    DONNA JOHNSON

    Jill: This is a great post! I recently blogged about the challenges I face as a mom, small business owner -- and I work in the business, with my husband on top of that. And we work at home with two small children! Here's the post link for anyone interested: http://ow.ly/W3oIOne thing that has helped me a lot is to remember that my family members need to know that, when I am with them, I am 100% there. I used to consider that if I was present in the room, even if my head wasn't, it counted as time with them. That's not true.On the flip side, I think we must allow ourselves to be who we are as well. If our business is supporting the family, the family members need to understand that nothing will be perfect and that, despite our best efforts, sometimes, we will be preoccupied.If everyone knows that we have our family's best interests are heart, and that we are all striving to accomplish the same goals, we go a long way toward working as a team to accomplish them. Everyone has a different and specific role to fulfill and if we can focus on doing that, and then trust that it's enough, we are more likely to be able to strengthen family ties as we also work together to build a successful business.Thanks for a great post and helpful links!dM

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