March 14, 2011

We’ve all been in a meeting where the person across the room is busy Tweeting or Facebooking under the table. Or out to lunch with the person who so tethered to their smartphone that they place it on the table, right next to their fork, for the entirety of the meal. Meanwhile, you are getting antsy, wondering when your conversation will be trumped by the latest Rihanna ring tone.

Almost everyone has a smartphone these days. I was one of the holdouts until about two weeks ago, when I broke down and got the Verizon iPhone 4. I love it. But as a PDA late bloomer, I’ve spent the last two years becoming keenly aware of the loss of social etiquette when it comes to these devices. They don’t call them Crackberries for nothing.

So what are the 10 biggest smartphone etiquette blunders?

1. Multi-tasking

“Don’t multi-task and send text messages or read e-mails while you are in conversation with someone,” suggests Shelley Davis Mielock, chief image expert at Mieshel Image Consulting in Lansing, Michigan. “If you are sitting at a table with someone and you are sending a text message at the same time, it shows the person in front of you that they are not important to you. It also makes them feel rushed.”

2. Typing quickly

“Make sure to always use spell check,” advises Davis Mielock. “Every message you send is an extension of your personal and professional image. I know people type in ‘please excuse misspellings,’ but you should really be checking each and every time. Take that extra second and treat each correspondence as if you were sending a letter from your office.”

3. Turning on vibrate

“The vibration is a distraction—everyone can hear that,” says Rachel Wagner, a certified corporate etiquette consultant, trainer, and speaker in Tulsa, Oklahoma. “Keep your device on silent and put it in your pocket while you are in a meeting. If you are expecting an urgent call, excuse yourself and take the call in a private place.”

4. Participating in ‘lap reading’

“Everyone can see when you head is lowered and you are focusing on your smartphone,” Wagner says. “This causes you to look disengaged and prevents you from having eye contact. It is also really rude and gives a terrible impression.”

5. Leaving long-winded messages

This one goes for all phone users. “Don’t leave long, complicated voice messages where you speak so fast that it sends the other person scrambling for a pen to write it all down,” says Alison Blackman Dunham, co-founder of Advicesisters.net, a life and advice site. “The best thing to do is to just say, “Hi, I need to talk to you about so-and-so. Please call me back.’ Then leave your number and hang up…simple as that.”

6. Putting someone on an extended hold

“When you say you are putting someone on hold for just a moment, it should be for just a moment,” says Blackman Dunham. “Business people are busy. If you can’t talk to someone, tell them you will call them back and give them an exact time; it is the courteous thing to do.”

7. Having a ringback tone

“Ringback tones are not for professionals…unless you are a pop star,” says Davis Mielock. “If I am calling a banker to inquire about a mortgage loan and he has a rapper ringback tone, I will call his credibility into question.”

8. Talking in front of others

“Excuse yourself,” Davis Mielock suggests. “Don’t have conversations in front of other people at all, especially professional conversations. It is incredibly inconsiderate to the people around you.”

9. Interrupting face-to-face conversation

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• Lifestyle

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Katie Morell, Article, etiquette, mobile, Alison Blackman Dunham, Rachel Wagner, Shelley Davis Mielock

Join the conversation ( 8 )

• Kathleen Seide 11 months ago

  

  I agree with most of what you say, with a caveat. I DO often use my smart phone when I am with customers. It is ALWAYS to help them, and I tell them what I am doing for them before I engage the phone. Sometimes they have a question about a home we are in (I sell real estate) and sometimes they ask for info that I can email to them right away - like a great mortgage broker or a handyman's phone #. Because I tell they why I am pulling out the phone they appreciate that they are getting great service, instead of feeling unimportant

• Tim Chen 1 year 2 months and 7 days ago

  

  Deborah, same thoughts here. Email doesn't have to be responded to upon receipt unless its urgent. People really need to read things like this more. Tim,listen.lyricshat.com

• Jo Lynne Lockley 1 year 2 months and 8 days ago

  

  Well, thank you, you dreamer you. Phone etiquette usually isn't (etiquette), and those of us who have the grey cells to comprehend that constant electronic availability makes one less rather than more valuable can only hope that the text addicted will someday get at least fractional clues. (The less you call the shots, the underer you are on the dog/pecking order/wolf pack scale)

• Kimberley Dietemann 1 year 2 months and 11 days ago

  

  I strongly disagree with the advice to leave a brief voicemail message which contains no information beyond how to reach you. I worked at a VoIP company for years and spent most of my days on the phone. Leaving a message with no information indicates that you don't value the other person's time. Frequently they may need to research something before calling you back. Even if it's just a personal call, they may need to ask their SO if they're available for dinner with you on Friday, etc. When you leave a message with no information, the person could attempt to call you and get your voicemail. Then they leave a message with no information because they have no idea what you were calling about. You call back, get their voicemail, and leave no information... who has time for that? IMO, if you must leave a voicemail, speak slowly and clearly, state your contact information several times, and succinctly describe the purpose for your call and what information you'd like to have from them.

• Debora Griffith 1 year 2 months and 13 days ago

  

  Katie - I wish more people would read this. I understand about multi-tasking but find it crazy that people feel that email has to be responded to upon receipt. If the message was that urgent - than one would assume that a phone call would be warranted. I personally try not taking my blackberry into meetings as it IS very tempting to look at emails etc. My two personal petpeeves in addition to your list are: when you are a passenger in the car while the driver takes calls and when they review emails/texts while driving (of course email and texting are illegal in CA nonetheless)....then they wonder why I am holding onto the car door stressing out!

• Alison Blackman 1 year 2 months and 14 days ago

  

  Rick, let me asnwer that. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a conversation with someone, and caller ID pops up on the other person's phone and they say "Oh! I've gotta take this...but I'll get right back to you, just hold on?" So I do...and I wait...and wait...and after about a minute or more, the person comes back on the line and says "Oh wow...sorry about that...it took longer than I thought." But just letting a phone call you've been waiting for go to voicemail is not always the best idea when you really need to talk to the person who is calling (e.g. a callback from customer service, or the babysitter is calling with a problem, or it's your boss.....). You THINK it will take a minute, but when it doesn't, do you put caller #2 in hold?

• Paul Atreides 1 year 2 months and 14 days ago

  

  I strongly disagree with the items on the list related to "multi-tasking". We are living in a massively connected information society, and no one should feel that they deserve anyone else's full attention, ever. I can hold a conversation, reply to an email, and think about changes to our company's infrastructure all at the same time. Therefore, yes, the person with whom I am speaking only has 1/3 of my attention. Frankly, that is more than adequate. The only person who ever deserves my undivided attention is my wife. Anyone else who thinks they deserve the same is being overly vain.

• Rick Mayer 1 year 2 months and 14 days ago

  

  Why put someone on hold at all? That's what busy-voice mail tranfer is for. You wouldn't allow an in-person interuption (unless it was your boss).If calling is more advantageous than an electronic message, why not leave an inquiry or information to which your call recipient can respond?