January 15, 2010

When I was in the process of launching my internet business, The Simple Dollar, I was under a great deal of stress.  I was working a full time job while at the same time giving a ton of my time, emotion, and energy to making my new business take off.  On top of that, I also needed time for my wife and my children.

For more than a year, I was a complete overstressed wreck.  I didn't sleep enough.  My anxiety level was quite high, causing me to overreact to every little thing.  I got sick several times, causing me to both miss time at my full time job as well as vital business startup time.  I also often felt like I was letting someone or something down in my life because there simply wasn't enough hours in the day.

That period taught me several vital lessons about the dual difficulties of launching a business while still trying to maintain some semblance of personal finance security and a normal home life. 

First, recognize that you can't do everything.  The more you try to take on everything, the more likely you are to begin letting people down - and letting yourself down.  That can be a downward spiral of failure and overcompensation that becomes difficult to escape from.

What can you do instead?  Spend some time honestly figuring out what the real priorities are in your life.  Many people will tell you that their family is a priority - and they may even believe that - but they'll find themselves making other choices when it comes to crunch time, letting their family life suffer at the expense of a business.  If your true priority is your business, admit it to yourself and focus your energies there.  If your true priority is your family, admit that as well and accept that you may have to let your business lag a little.  If your true priority is maintaining your full time job, accept that your business will probably grow very slowly at first.  Once you have your priorities straight, it becomes much easier to determine which elements of your life deserve priority over others.

Another key step is to reduce your personal spending and financial burden.  Many people, when their lives are overfull with demands but their wallets are flush with income, will choose to commit to a much more expensive standard of living because of the convenience.  It's easier to go out to eat - where you can relax for a bit before eating your meal - than to prepare something at home, right?  It's also more expensive, which means that you're more attached than ever to the very difficult personal balancing act you're taking on.

That's why a fresh commitment to personal frugality can be so vital as you balance full-time work and the launch of a business.  The less you require for your own personal spending, the easier the transition to a full-time businessperson can be.  Look into ways to reduce your personal spending without much pain.  Install a programmable thermostat and program it to have your air conditioner or furnace not run when you're not at home.  Hold off on upgrading that car.  And, yes, eat at home as often as you can - learn how to prepare simple, tasty meals with inexpensive ingredients and remember that the slow cooker can really be your friend.

What finally happened with my own situation, you might ask?  Eventually, I made the difficult choice to walk away from my full time job, even though I was earning more from that job than I was from my business.  The reason?  I realized that my family was the highest priority in my life, more than my job or my burgeoning business.  This put my business and my full time job into conflict and I chose the one that made family choices easier for me.  Of course, the path to that decision was made much easier by a strong commitment to reducing my personal spending.

Join the conversation ( 4 )

• Thursday Bram 2 years 0 months and 22 days ago

  

  I think you're very right in pointing out that it can take some serious consideration to not only determine what your priorities are but how you can make them a reality. Finances on an entrepreneur's or a writer's salary can take some careful planning, even before you let go of that full-time job.

• Nora Dunn 2 years 0 months and 24 days ago

  

  Thanks for the great perspective and reality check, Trent! Balance is so difficult to achieve, and you're right - we may say that "x" is a priority, but if it really is, we need to make choices accordingly.
  Alternately, it's a matter of finding effective ways to multi-task across our priorities. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, but we do have to forgive ourselves from time to time for not being all things to all people. (This realization led to me selling my last business and traveling full-time, after getting sick once too many times from overworking myself).

• BRYAN WHITING 2 years 0 months and 25 days ago

  

  Trent thanks for sharing your experience. I'm in a similar situation myself. We own a small business that we bought about a year ago, but my employer forced relocation upon me last year. Because we rely upon my full time job to pay the bills, I'm forced to live/work in a neighboring state where my employer relocated to, while my wife runs our business. Its not easy, but we're managing for now in hopes the economic conditions permit me to find employment in my home state so I can rejoin my family/friends.

• PAUL ROSENFELD 2 years 0 months and 25 days ago

  

  Hi Trent, I'm going through the exact same thing now, though only working part-time. Both my co-foounder and I find it incredibly stressful and I think your advice is spot-on. Thanks for sharing it. Paul @Fanminder.com