February 4, 2011

I’m reading two outstanding books on social networking: The Hyper-Social Organization by my friend, Francois Gossieaux and his colleague, Ed Moran, and The Network is Your Customer written by David L. Rogers. Both were sent to me as review copies.

As a professional interested in the topic, I was eager to learn what the ‘experts’ had to say, and both books delivered. I found myself eagerly turning pages, and in the midst of learning about the power of today’s networks, I discovered a glimpse into the history of human socialization.

In The Hyper-Social Organization, the authors say, “…we are herding animals and in some cases self-herding.” Interpretation: we’re hardwired to be social.

In The Network is Your Customer, the author writes, “The lesson for businesses is to realize that the highly active customers in an online forum are only the tip of the iceberg. For every customer posting a detailed product review, hundreds more may be reading that review and shaping their opinions.” Interpretation: neighborhood communities are still working, online and offline.

It seems to me that all these new tools are giving us more reason to return to a past that considered personal stories and personal touches more valuable than marketing-speak of any kind. The front porch is an American icon and, as such, the invitation to stop over for a cup a’ tea is more compelling than the invitation to “friend me on Facebook."

Yes, technology has its place -- on our desktops or in our cellphones. But, underneath it all, I sense a growing discontent with the depersonalization of the new “social” -- as if your Facebook page could substitute for you, in a pinch.

I grew up in the 1950s and 60s. I had a solid group of friends from high school and college. We didn’t ‘Facebook,’ and I’m not sure we would have, had the chance been offered to us. We met for lunch or coffee. We strolled the neighborhood with our dogs, sat on front porches, watched the cars go by, drank our iced tea with sugar. We chatted about personal relationships, and dieting, and pets, and jobs. We pretended to listen to our parents because it was respectful, but secretly made fun of them for being stuffy and too restrictive. And, yes, we laughed a lot.

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Join the conversation ( 1 )

• Laurence "GreenReaper" Parry 1 year 3 months and 27 days ago

  

  Real-life meetings can speed the establishment of personal connections. However, I disagree that friendships established in backyards and front porches - or even meetups and conventions - must necessarily lie at the core of "neighborhoods". (Or, for that matter, at the core of purchasing decisions.)I talk with many of my friends on a weekly or daily basis. To us, the conversations we have online are just as meaningful as any we have in person. If anything, I feel they are more honest for the lack of social awkwardness - and because the medium requires expressions to be made explicit, they tend to be far less ambiguous.Do offline meetings have value? Of course. I regularly meet with friends at conventions and other social gatherings. But my trust is not founded on this social interaction, but upon an evaluation of them as a person - and this evaluation is formed primarily through online interaction.Is it hard to establish real friendship with others online? Yes - just as it is offline. Meaningful relationships of any kind requires ongoing effort. Doubtless, many online "friends" are mere acquaintances - just as you might be friendly with the milkman on your porch, but not consider them a friend.But none of this precludes real friendship online. If people find such relationships lacking, perhaps that is because they have not been willing to put the effort into what they subconsciously consider a separate, second-class world.