April 8, 2010

Tips for Extraverted Leaders:

1. Be concise. Every gift, taken to extreme, can be a liability, so understand that while you are invigorated by talking, are energized by interruptions, and enjoy thinking out loud, taken to the extreme, others may consider you overbearing and overpowering.
2. Circulate information ahead of a meeting. Provide as much written information as is feasible before a meeting so that introverted team members have a chance to reflect on the material in order to give you their best thinking.
3. Don’t expect immediate decisions. Pressuring introverted team members to come up with a decision on the spot may likely result in a decision that they don’t fully buy-in. The time you saved upfront will come to haunt you downstream.
4. Allow silence its moment. A common complaint of introverts about extraverts is about their listening skills—in particular, their rush to fill the silence. Practice self-management by valuing pauses which allow the real conversation to be heard. To that end, watch Tom Peters’ provocative video clip on strategic listening and see if you are an 18 second manager.
5. Ask introverts for their thoughts. Introverts generally dislike having the light shining on them, so you may have to seek out their opinions. It is often more fruitful to meet one-on-one rather than in a public forum.
6. Respect introverts’ need for privacy. Practicing good social awareness skills entails understanding that extended extraverted activities can be draining for introverts. The American Journal of Psychiatry reported on a fascinating study showing that introversion (as well as extraversion) may be hardwired and controlled by certain neurotransmitters. Introverts, unlike extraverts, have a low tolerance for dopamine, a transmitter linked to thrill seeking, which increases their need for time alone. An explanation of these research findings can be found in The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World.

Tips for Introverted Leaders:

1. Give visual clues when listening. While introverts are often better listeners, their expressions may sometimes give the impression that they lack interest or involvement in the topic being discussed. At the extreme, they may even inadvertently appear to dislike the speaker. Remedy this with simple things like a nod, a smile, and leaning forward—micro gestures that go a long way to signal to others that they are indeed being heard.
2. Raise your comfort level with public speaking. If public speaking ranks among one of your top dreads, resolve to conquer this. Developing the ability to stand up in front of an audience to deliver an engaging presentation is a strategic imperative. Lee Iacocca once said: “You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.” Develop the skills to help you share your brilliance with a wide audience.
3. Beware of voids created by non-communication. A void will be quickly filled by rumors, misinterpretations, and grapevine musings. Take the initiative to share information. Be inspired by Seth Godin’s exhortation that “the less people know, the more they yell” and make sure that you communicate early and often.
4. Provide timely feedback. Consider voicing your opinions sooner. Providing critical feedback once a project is well underway can frustrate or de-motivate others on the team.
5. Learn the art of small talk. If this is not a preferred activity for you, consider that small talk is the oil that lubricates relationships and paves the way for more important discussions. For pointers on mastering this social ritual, read Guy Kawasaki’s article on The Art of Schmoozing II. Just as being in the presence of an overly gregarious extravert may make an introvert feel uncomfortable, so sharing space with an individual who appears impassive may make an extraverted person feel ill at ease.
6. Share more personal information. This helps more people know you better and increases the level of trust. Transparency strengthens our connections to others.

There are many gifts that each group brings to the table. Introverts and extraverts form a beautiful palette of diversity if we are willing to capitalize on each other’s strengths. And the quickest path to reach this is through emotionally-intelligent communication.

Bruna Martinuzzi is a facilitator, author, speaker and founder of Clarion Enterprises Ltd., a global company specializing in emotional intelligence, leadership and presentation skills training. Her latest book is The Leader as a Mensch: Become the Kind of Person Others Want to Follow.

Join the conversation ( 2 )

• Maureen Soules 1 year 10 months and 3 days ago

  

  I really appreciate it when I find a good article on introversion. I have been trying to explain to so many people that introversion is not the same as shyness. I have no problems with public speaking, or being in a social situation where I'm in the driver's seat. I struggle with the spontanious meetings, or when agendas get thrown out the door for a new topic that I was unprepared for.
  
  I recently lost my job, and I believe my introvert tendencies contributed to my job loss. I worked for a fantastic company with a very dynamic leader that I respect very much, but the coroporate culture was evolving into a extroverts haven, and I no longer fit the corporate mold that was being developed. I'm not bitter about it; in fact I was a little relieved, but I strongly believe that introversion is overwhelmingly viewed as a character flaw in the corporate world, when it can be a very valuable "thinking" tool if given the right environment to thrive. Introversion really makes the job interview process a painful experience; that's where I struggle the most....
  
  Most managers, by definition of their job, are ususally extroverts and it's a shame that more do not fully understand how an introvert thinks, works, and interacts in an office setting. I have found that I really enjoy consulting work from home, but I also have found that "networking with intent" is not as painful as it once was for me.
  
  I would still rather have a root canal than go to a cocktail party, but if I find a social group where I know I'll have things in common with the discussions taking place, I find I don't feel as "unprepared" to participate; I know what to expect, and am more confident to open up. It's when the conversations turn to meaningless "chit-chat" that I feel a cold sweat of spontaneity on my neck!

• Julie Rains 1 year 10 months and 7 days ago

  

  As an introvert who has successfully held leadership positions, I can tell you that your advice is spot-on. For example, prior to a recent meeting, I received an overview of its purpose and tried to get more information (to think about in order to contribute meaningfully of course). From my perspective, the advertised purpose was much different than the actual one, and I had very little input. If I had been able to see the agenda, I definitely could have contributed; and oddly the goal was to accomplish some things I had attempted years earlier. So, while I may have appeared not to be on board, I was really just not prepared.
  
  As for how I need to change my habits as an introvert, #3 is my biggest challenge -- if I can just figure out when the void exists. I may need to assume that there are misunderstandings, musings, etc. and actively clarify my position and thoughts.